Today was the third time in my life where I have been cat called. I remember them distinctly and in detail. Like the last two times, it was daytime. I was covered from the neck to the ankle, still wearing an oversize winter coat that covers beyond my wrists until the middle of my neck and until just above my knees. Underneath it some black formal trousers or slacks and sneakers – I have a professional event to attend so underneath the coat I was sweating because of wearing a suit and the sneakers so I could run all my errands.
I wear my winter coat still because I am always afraid someone will comment on my but. And it is a thick winter coat. And it was a warm, hot day with a bright sun. But that did not stop him. I also wore sunblock (that I put on a rush whilst leaving the house to go to class) and a coat of mascara and half-hearted lipstick. I walked fast to go check my emails to see whether the two community organisations I volunteer with that help elderly, dying and blind people had gotten back to me about various projects and upcoming training. I did dare to look up and ahead of me and thining about it my eye caught him for a second, probably less – I was walking very fast, like a cartoon character trying not to run whilst being in a rush.
He whispered sexy. I felt so dirty. The first thing I did was call my dad. You see he could not pick up the phone because he is currently doing the job of two people, training a third and living with an incurable condition. The man in the street did not know that, he just wanted someone to spit at with his words, to get whatever frustration he was feeling out on or just someone to abuse for fun – because society has taught men that that sort of behaviour is OK. Not all men do it by any means, in fact most do not, but those who do cause a great deal of harm and distress. At least to me.
Think about it though – if I had said to him sexy in that voice and looked at him like that, I would have been crazy, hysterical, out of my mind. To be honest I would never have because I would not think that, besides everything else, I had the time or right to. Everyone at the bus stop would have turned around and looked at me with disaproval. But when he does it to me, he is just a man.
Nothing wrong with men. Nothing wrong with sexuality. Everything wrong with cat calling. Dear men, please do not cat call.
Shithappens 